Riders on the Storm...

this is adapted from a mail isent to "baba" of whom i'll write some day..till then this is just for the record...


today almost rates as the best day of my life. 20 yrs...well thats been a long fuckin life. not in terms of human yrs perhaps, but definitely a prolonged existence. but today was my day.
fuck.
had classes from 9 in the mornin till 4 p.m. n then while goin to dump my bag in my room to set off for shankar i met vikas, a guy detained n is now in our batch. is my next door neighbour in hostel. perpetual stoner n sweetheart. unfortunately one's personal attributes aren't taken into account while evaluating the end semesters.
pity.
so anyway vikas was on this cycle goin somewhere n i randomly begged him if i cud come along. he asked me to get another cycle n well off we set. we dint kno where we wanted to go, so we picked up some fags from shankars n set off towards shameerpet. on the way we found the shameerpet lake more seductive. so we braved the muck n the rocks n climbed uphill on our bikes (cycles really, but bike sounds hepper!!..i kno i spelt hep wrong...joy in misnamin...joy in misspellin).

we cycled on n the weather....o fuck the weather. ahh...mother, there was wind n smell of earth n shit n all kinds of grass...fuck...it was brilliant. the muck smell dint really bother us coz we were pantin at the end of it n were breathin thru our mouths...but this was just the beginnin...
we got 'fence locked' on our way out. as in we got into some one's property, coz well we lost our way...n suddenly we were in the middle of this really slushy n rocky field with a barbwire fence all around us.
we chucked our bikes over the fence n climbed thru the barbwires....n rode on.

riders on the strom.

once back on the road we had a choice of headin towards shameerpet or back the college way. only the road extended further beyond the college into the great unknown where neither of us had been before. honestly...it just took a look n a grin...we both knew where we wanted to go.

prior to that are a list of trivial events that took place. here goes;

college was rufly 2kms away.
we cycled 2 kms.
there was a bhutta vendor.
we had bhutta.
then came shankar.
we smoked.

n we were off again. we cycled for about 2 kms down into absolute nothingness. only to dodge various cattle on the way. there were some really close misses on buffaloes with foot long horns..other times a herd of goats (herd of goats!!!) led by ancient men covered in huge polythene drapes (usually blue)...the kind with which one usually covered their cycles or bikes. they were so draped coz the weather was gettin ruf. wasn't rainin but wind was blowin wild man. fuckin wild. it was loud too. n we were cyclin against it. after several stops n somethin like 4 further kms we came to this crossroad. it was wat we call a 'choumatha'
one way went back to college, one went straight, one left n one right. it was gettin quite dark at only 5:30 n yet no rain. we however had to scream above the wind to be audible to one another. in this wildly serene atmosphere iron gates to an empty (wat seemed like wheat) field banged shut...well not really shut, but banged...
vikas asked, "ek raasta wapas jail, baki teen maut....kaunsi??"
bein 20...wel nearly 20 n single one usually chooses the latter....we were single n 20.
we went left coz it seemed most excitin of the 4. we cud barely see some 10 mts of it because it turned into somethin that seemed like a forest cover n there were no lights....n we knew it wud get dark early...n we were carryin no torches...so all the better...

freedom was mine...death was near..

there were no bonds then, i dint think of anyone. that part was downhill n we raced into somethin we dint kno. we had nothin to lose n all u cud take from us were our lives. we'd gift it to u then...we were flyin...i was...i know i was...that was the moment. i was one. i dint kno anyone existed. i dint kno anythin, i dint need anythin. i dint want anythin. i was complete. i was high, i was flyin. i was smilin n after long i had no reason to. i had no one expectin me to smile, i had no one returnin the smile.

i was alone, i was one...i had loved...i was loved.

moment.

we cycled till i dunno how long anymore n it had started drizzlin. we came till a fci godown in the middle of nowhere. we were far away from the spider webs. as far as anyone had probably come from where we came. we came for nothin, n this nothin completed me. this nothin was all i had, n it was fuckin beautiful...fuckin beautiful man....

i cud die then. i only wished, n i really dreamt along that it was pp ridin along wit me. n i wudve just prayed for su then....i dont think vikas cares enuf to mind. so its ok.

ive never felt this way before. it was somethin surreal man. fuckin surreal n beautiful.
i came back, we sat n smoked at shankars. he took off. it was rainin heavily now. i messaged su. they were couple of frantic messages, n i was hyper n really free....FUCKIN FREE...
i dunno wat i wrote but she came n it was just the 2 of us at shankar, who becoz the storm that had started now was already packin. su's face looked so grown up in the light of the fire it reflected. so fuckin old. she held my hand n i knew i was safe. usually such a gesture ties me. but i never felt so free before n i was glad she was there. she's my sister. my family here. she dusn't understand me n dusn't find understandin a pre-requisite to holdin my hand. i was back in the prison n here she was my lifeline.

su n i had a conversation taht shall be kept to us. but after that we walked back to campus holdin hands...it was really rainin hard now...n there were puddles formin...so we both went on an expedition of conquerin puddles (speakin in old scot accent...with emphasized r's n lad as la'a'd)...
she was the captain, n i teh first mate....."puddle ahoy captain", n then we wud jump on all of them makin a big splash...n then kick water in at each other.
last time i did that was outside 100c Park Circus wit pp n bullete, when i went home in baba's clothes for the first time.

n so the day ended. after the successful expedition wit captain stunnin su....i was wearied...had some cofee coz we were drenched n then dropped her back to her hostel n came back to mine. the rest in irrelevant....but it was a great day. almost close to the day i first saw the greater himalayas burst out slyly from behind the brown mountains en route to chopta.

fuck it was a feelin of a life time, n i cant write such a mail again.

i need a smoke.

i have a life.