Arnold Layne's Diary:First Entry

well im here devoid of ideas and company. i am alone in a cool air conditioned room filled with technological advances that has plagued our times. i was thinkin of myself. i am often thot of as a deviant. atleast it gives me a sadistic pleasure to be afflicted and frustated with society even when im not. i like being a deviant. to be honest i take immense pride in it and am often irritatingly judgemental about various social commonalities such as ambition, marks paranoia, and pop culture.
these aspects of my character have lent a lack of accesibility to me, which as ive been told by someone really important to me (tho i mite pretend her not to be), has managed to fuck me up and often hurt people who while respecting my wishes of being left alone with myself, have nevertheless been hurt by my behavior.
i have also created an image, as im told, of not taking part in most "earthly pleasures". i find myself again being guilty of contributin to this conception of myself that most of my associations have of me.
the truth is...or the relative/temporary truth that ive figured so far is, that i am loved...and i am despised...and i am also considered "a cool eccentric". its also true that i am alone. we all are, but wat i mean is im alone by myself. for most of my day is spent devoid of human company. i'd be lying to say that i'd never been presented with the opportunity of gaining human connection. but i refused it. now i pretend not to miss it, believing that if i pretend long enough, i mite just believe it and thats who i'll be.